


500 Degrees

by SimpleLoon



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Birthday, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hint of Lunoct, Humor, Older Chocobros (Final Fantasy XV)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:55:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24834169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimpleLoon/pseuds/SimpleLoon
Summary: Throwing this surprise party for Noctis’s 30th birthday should have been easy. It was gonna be chill, just the guys preparing an amazing dinner and cake (okay, mostly Ignis) and then enjoying a night of video games. Simple, right?Well, tell that to the fuming Ignis and sheepish-looking Gladio standing in front of the smoking oven.
Relationships: Gladiolus Amicitia & Prompto Argentum & Noctis Lucis Caelum & Ignis Scientia
Comments: 16
Kudos: 24





	500 Degrees

**Author's Note:**

  * For [HardNoctLife](https://archiveofourown.org/users/HardNoctLife/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Cor! Hope you enjoy this bit of silliness and friendship fluff between the chocobros ^^
> 
> Also, I using Fahrenheit degrees. Let's just pretend that Insomnia uses Fahrenheit.

Throwing this surprise party for Noctis’s 30th birthday should have been easy. It was gonna be chill, just the guys preparing an amazing dinner and cake (okay, mostly Ignis) and then enjoying a night of video games. Simple, right?

Well, tell that to the fuming Ignis and sheepish-looking Gladio standing in front of the smoking oven.

The air hung heavy with the stench of charred meat and chemicals. Though he remained eerily still, vapors seemed to simmer from Ignis as he poured his gaze into the blackened roast atop the oven. Gladio flickered his gaze between Ignis and the roast, hand clenched around the neck of the fire extinguisher.

Prompto gulped.

Ignis inhaled all the air in the room and, in a whisper laced with poison, exhaled out, “10. Minutes. I was gone. For 10. Minutes.”

Gladio turned his head to Prompto, who promptly hid his own head behind the cake. Swallowing, he returned to the seething Advisor. “Well… you can’t blame me for trying to be efficient.”

Ignis snapped to Gladio, eyes flashing fatality. The Shield recoiled.

“Efficient!? I gave you perfectly efficient, logical instructions! Pray tell, how is “heat for 30 minutes at 250 degrees” inefficient!?”

“I mean…” Gladio raised his free hand to scratch the side of his face. “Multiply the degrees by 2 and get it done in half the time.”

“IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT, YOU DOLT!”

The fire extinguisher clamored to the ground as Gladio flinched, broad shoulders tensing.

Prompto peeked blue eyes from above the cake. “I told you it was a bad idea…”

“Then why didn’t you stop him!?” Ignis scolded, Prompto jumping and hiding behind the cake once again. Ignis growled frustratedly. “Gods, incompetence all around!”

“Hey!” Gladio retorted, finding the strength. “Don’t bring Prompto into this! My mistake, all right!?”

“Ah, the fool admits his failure!” Ignis pushed up his glasses, frames reflecting white. “And true, judging by the brilliance of the cake, Prompto did at least possess the aptitude to follow my directions. Unlike _someone_ lacking sense.”

Gladio narrowed his eyes. “Ignis…”

“Yeah, yeah! The cake should be great!” Prompto sprung out from behind said cake. “Noct will definitely be happy about that!”

“But he won’t have dinner!” Ignis spat. He thrusted his hands on his hips, glaring up at Gladio. “Just how do you plan on fixing that, _genius_?”

Gladio crossed his arms, glaring back. “You know, I’m getting real sick of your tone…”

Prompto raised up his hands, fingers flexed out. “Guys, please! I don’t think Noct will care!”

Ignoring the pleas of Prompto, Ignis continued. “Allow me to theorize: you, being the _sophisticated_ man you are, would suggest we eat Cup Noodles. Because _that_ is a suitable replacement.”

Gladio’s fingers dug into his arm. “You gonna keep going with that!?”

“Guys… please…” Prompto covered his face with his hands.

Ignis scoffed. “If you truly believe that, you _must_ be missing more brain cells than I thought.”

Gladio’s eyes flashed. “Says the guy whose middle name is stupid!”

Ignis gasped. “THAT’S IT!”

“What? You’ve come up with a-”

But Gladio didn’t get to finish his sentence as Ignis launched himself at Gladio, tackling them both to the ground. Prompto gave out a squeal and grabbed the cake, backing away from the fighting retainers.

Yup, can never be simple.

~

Noctis sighed as the elevator doors closed. He should be excited. It was Friday night, and he was finally 30. But everything had been… not so awesome. Being a King and turning 30 was apparently a big deal. So big that most of his time was consumed by meetings, outfit fittings, and interviews, all in preparation for his birthday gala on Sunday. And while he did take his duties seriously, he felt sad that he didn’t have much time to enjoy himself or with his friends and family.

Even worse, Luna was still out in Tenebrae for business and wouldn’t return until Sunday. And his dad was supposed to be back from Altissia by now, but he had been delayed due to bad weather. Even Ignis and Gladio had important duties to attend, which would leave Noctis mostly alone on his birthday night.

His only consolation was that at least he would be spending some time with Prompto, even if Prompto said he had some business to discuss. Though, Noctis hoped he might be able to convince Prompto for a few rounds of King’s Knight, just like old times.

The elevator doors opened, and Noctis exited and hobbled down the hall, his knee feeling a bit worse for wear. But as he came closer to the end of the hall where Prompto’s apartment was, he furrowed his eyebrows. Was that… shouting from behind the door? And a bang!? Noctis hobbled faster, ignoring the stinging in his knee. Upon reaching the door, he caught a slight whiff of something… burning!? Snatching the handle, he flung the door open.

The odor of burnt meat blasted into his nose, but Noctis couldn’t be bothered by smells when he saw the sight before him: Gladio, kneeling on the ground, his face strained and arms up and bent at the elbows with his hands behind his head. Ignis, standing on Gladio’s calves and clenching both of Gladio’s hands, a wicked smile on his face. Prompto, hopping between each foot, his back facing Noctis. A lamp, fallen and broken in two.

Noctis felt confused.

“Feeling fatigued, you brute?” Ignis panted, eyes glowing oddly. “Trouble keeping up with me again?”

Gladio growled through gritted teeth, “I’m just getting started, you uptight pompadoured nut!”

“And just- AH!”

Gladio threw himself down, flipping Ignis off and slamming his back onto the ground.

“Guys… guys… come on!” Prompto pleaded. “Noct’s gonna be here soon!”

Ignoring Prompto, Gladio grabbed the dazed Ignis around the shoulders and gripped him tight. Once pinning Ignis against his chest, Gladio gave him a noogie, Ignis squirming in response. Still astounded, Noctis slowly approached Prompto.

“Prompto, what is-“

“AHHHHHHHH!”

Prompto jumped and threw up his arms. Noctis hadn’t realized that Prompto had been holding a cake on a plate. But it became apparent to him once the cake flew up out the plate and landed top side right into… his hair.

Prompto spun around and gasped, bringing up the plate to cover his mouth. “Noct!?”

Gladio and Ignis froze. Synchronized, they looked up at the cake-befallen King. “Noctis!” Gladio released Ignis, and both retainers straightened up.

Noctis pointed to his head. “Anyone care to explain how this happened?”

“Oh, buddy!” Prompto lowered the plate, voice sorrowful. “I’m so sorry!”

“We know the circumstances of this week haven’t been ideal for you,” Ignis continued, “so we thought we’d prepared a party for you.”

Gladio shook his head. “Guess we messed up.”

Noctis took a moment to look at his friends: Prompto glancing between his feet and Noctis, Gladio with disappointment on his slightly sweaty face, Ignis with a face of guilt and a hair of mess.

Noctis laughed.

“Noct?”

“Noctis?”

“Your Majesty?”

“Oh--my--gods! You guys!!” Noctis choked out between cackles, bring up his hands to support the cake from falling off. “Specs-- and, and Gladio--- what was that fighting!? _That’s_ your important duty!? Fighting like kids!? Haha! And now—there’s cake on my head! Hahaha!”

Gladio and Ignis stiffened. Prompto gulped. “Uh-oh… I think we broke him.”

“No! No!” Noctis shook his head slightly, composing himself. He regarded his friends with a smile. “I’ve been so stressed lately. And I thought it was gonna be a sad birthday. But you guys came through and even gave me a good laugh! Thank you.”

“Aw, buddy!” Prompto gave Noctis a one-armed hug, still holding the plate with his other hand. “You know we wouldn’t let you be sad on your birthday!”

“Indeed,” Ignis agreed but then frowned a little. “Though, I think you’re not the only one who’s been feeling stressed…”

“Yeah…” Gladio wrapped an arm around Ignis’s shoulders. “Iggy, I’m sorry for not listening to you and for the insults. I know how much you hate your middle name.”

Ignis hummed and placed a hand on Gladio’s back. “Well, you weren’t the only one dishing out insults. I apologize as well.”

“And your back? How’s it feeling?”

“It’ll be fine, Gladio. Don’t worry. And Prompto?” The blonde released his embrace to turn to Ignis. “Sorry for making a mess of your apartment.”

Gladio nodded and pointed his thumb to the broken lamp. “We’ll get you a new one, definitely.”

“Aw, thanks, guys! I’m just glad the fighting’s over, and my crib didn’t burn down!”

“Yeah, what happened with that, anyway? That burning smell?” Noctis asked, still holding up the cake.

Gladio raised up a hand guiltily. “My fault. Was supposed to cook the roast at 250 degrees for 30 minutes. Thought I could save time by cooking at 500 degrees.”

Noctis considered for a moment. “Yeah… that would save 15 minutes. Makes sense to me.” He gave a nod.

Gladio grinned, and Ignis brought a hand to his face. Prompto gave a weak laugh. “It doesn’t work like that, Noct…”

“Sorry I won’t be able to enjoy the roast, Ignis. I’m sure it would have been delicious. But at least we still have the cake.”

Ignis dropped his hand, eyes wide. “Noctis… no.”

“I think the layer on top is fine, hasn’t touched my hair. Prompto, help?”

“You got it, buddy!”

Noctis and Prompto moved the layer of the cake to the plate, vaguely aware of Ignis’s horrified gape and Gladio’s hearty laugh. As Prompto set the plate on the counter, Noctis looked at the cake residue on his hands and took a lick of some on his finger.

“NOCTIS!”

“Mmmm! That _is_ good! Great work, Specs!” Noctis grabbed more cake that was still stuck in his hair. “Anyone wanna try?”

Prompto recoiled, though he had a huge grin on his face. “Dude! Gross! I don’t wanna eat your hair!”

Noctis shrugged and took a bite. “It’s the royal hair. Could give you magic powers.”

“Dude!”

Prompto laughed, crossing his arms over his belly. Noctis looked over at Ignis and Gladio, the former covering his face with both hands and the latter laughing and squeezing Ignis’s shoulders. Noctis beamed and outstretched his arms.

“Guys… come here.”

Prompto and Gladio hushed their laughter, and Ignis removed his hands. Prompto, being the closest, was back at Noctis’s side in an instant, placing an arm behind Noctis’s waist. Ignis and Gladio followed, the Advisor wrapping an arm around Noctis at his other side and Gladio clutching them all together. Noctis breathed in the scent of his friends, took in their warmth.

“You guys are seriously the best.”

With one last squeeze, the guys broke the hug but stayed close. Ignis wiped his cheek.

“Wonderful. Now you’ve got cake on me.”

Prompto licked the side of his mouth. “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

“Prompto! Not you, too!”

“Gotta get those magic royal powers, Igster!”

“Going back to business,” Gladio injected, “it’s still Noctis’s birthday, and those video games ain’t gonna play themselves! And as for dinner, how about we order pizza?”

Noctis’s eyes lit up. “Sounds great! Just no veggies.”

Ignis shook his head in exasperation, but Noctis could pick out his little grin. “Very well. It is _your_ birthday after all, Noct.”

“Then by command of Your King, order up some pizza and get those games ready! I shall take care of this cake mess in my hair.”

“Yes, Your Majesty!” The three gave a salute and set off to their ‘duties.’

Noctis went to the kitchen to get paper towels, a spring in his step.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Hope you enjoyed ^^


End file.
